Is Your Business Going to Fail?

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Your business is started, but you’ve been struck with a terrible thought: “Wait a second!” you shout, “My business could fail! All that starting capital…gone! SHIT!”

Well yes, that would be terrible. So let me help you: I’m going to gaze deep into my internet crystal ball and give you five signs. If these signs come to pass…you might want to start applying for a new job. Just maybe.

You hate people (and it shows)

As anyone who’s EVER worked retail will tell you, customers suck. They do, no lie, hand to God. People are ignorant, rude, and they sometimes smell. There are some fantastic customers out there, but they are by no means the rule. Thinking this is not the problem, because nearly everyone thinks this way. It’s when you allow your anti-people bias to rule your actions that things start to get messy. You have to be able to go out and talk to people, up-sell them, and generally be the best salesman you can be for your particular product. It all boils down to my #1 rule: “Don’t Be a Douche”. People will be much more responsive this way.

You can’t take criticism

Do you dissolve into a river of boiling hot lava rage when someone tells you they’re not a fan of your tie? Invest in some anger management classes, because taking criticism (and taking it WELL) is incredibly important when operating a business. It might have seemed like a great idea to have a guy in a giant bear costume handing out candy outside your store, but as any internet scientist will tell you, your innocent gesture might have other…interesting connotations. Being able to accept and work with criticism could save you from embarrassment and loss of money. Speaking of which…

You suck with money

Do you spend all your money on lottery tickets, and then buy cheap clothes because you can’t afford anything better? Well, head’s up, you might be in for some trouble. As an entrepreneur, you have to know when to spend money, and when to skimp. If you shell out for full colour copies on fancy paper as a flyer, and then underpay your employees, you’re going to be in for a hell of a ride.

You don’t have a good lawyer

This is one of those things you should invest in. A lawyer can be worth his or her weight in gold if you get a good one. They can negotiate a lease for you, protect you if you get sued by an angry customer, and cover your back if someone refuses to pay what they owe. Get out there and network, and find one that you like, and whose style will work for you.

You’re not making a profit

This might seem a little obvious, but if you’re losing money, you’re not going to last. If you fail in the first five years of operation, it’s going to be because you’re not making enough money. Keep an eagle eye on the books, and catch any money problems before they have a chance to grow. Be creative in advertising, and follow the Don’t Be a Douche law. If you have everything in hand, you should pull through fine.