Oh god, I think Iâ€™m in love. Problem: sheâ€™s 11. Also, sheâ€™s not real.
Iâ€™m honestly not sure which of those is worse, but Iâ€™ll let it slide.
For those who have read the comic, or heard anything about Kick-Ass, you know who Iâ€™m talking about. For the rest of you, Iâ€™ll explain. Soon you will understand.
Kick-Ass isnâ€™t a superhero movie. Itâ€™s a movie about people with no special powers other than guts, borderline child abuse, an insane need for daddyâ€™s approval, and a sense that the world CAN be a better place if people just grew a pair.
A teenage nerd decides that thereâ€™s no reason for superheroes NOT to exist. So he buys a scuba suit, sets out to fight crime, gets his ass handed to him, and meets some friends along the way. Definitely not something for the squeamish or anyone looking for something light-hearted, this movie swims in blood.
Nicholas Cage is fantastic as Big Daddy â€“ a vicious vigilante out to take down a resident crime lord. The star of the show, though, is ChloÃ« Grace Moretz, who plays Hit-Girl. A pint-size killer with a mouth like a sailor, she treats combat like a hide-and-seekâ€¦except sheâ€™s always â€œitâ€ and sheâ€™s looking for your vital organs. She has three absolutely jaw-dropping fight scenes, and I found myself wondering not why they had stuck a child into such a brutal role, but why no one had done it before.
Donâ€™t get me wrong; Iâ€™m not out for â€œa butterfly knife in every stockingâ€ type of thing. The thing that hit me the most about the character was that she was the most credible female hero weâ€™ve seen in a long time. She plays with knives like some kid plays with dolls, and she loves it. She doesnâ€™t get into the business to prove anything, she doesnâ€™t compare herself to any male heroes, and you get the sense that she really doesnâ€™t care to. Sheâ€™s easily the most violent character in the movie, but it doesnâ€™t take away from the fact that sheâ€™s a girl. The two aspects of her being operate on completely different levels. She can eviscerate a thug and then bring her dad hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
In the end, the movie was fantastic, and the action scenes were out of this world. Leave your sense of self-righteous anger over a child saying the c-word at the door (seriously, blink and youâ€™ll miss it), and youâ€™re in for a ride. If you want to go for authentic, pick up the comic as well, itâ€™s well worth it.