They say money can’t buy love, and for the most part they’re right.

I mean, it can certainly help: vacations, presents, all the wonderful things that money can buy can keep the gears moving, but eventually you actually need chemistry for a real relationship. If you’re looking for a sugar baby, that’s something else entirely. The dating scene for a man of means can be a minefield – so how do you sort through the gold diggers to the gold?

Figure out what you want – then let her know

Do you want arm candy, an intellectual match, or a mix of the two? Are you looking for something long-term or just for a week or two? Do you want to shower her with riches or keep it casual? Figure these things out, and don’t hesitate to tell her. As contrived as it sounds, communication is key. The last thing you want is a messy situation because you forgot to tell her you aren’t paying for her trip to Boca.

If you’re looking for a sugar mama, and some people are, things might be a tad easier. These arrangements are usually handled as a business transaction, so you don’t have to worry about feelings. A NOTE: I’m not talking about escorts, here. No need to get your boxers in a knot.

For a genuine relationship, things are as complicated as they’ve ever been. Be wary of ladies who suddenly appear after you come into cash. Like roaches, they are! Or so I’ve heard. Keep the lines of communications clear, and your extra cash shouldn’t complicate things…too much.

Don’t be a dick…and don’t let her be a dick.

This should be a rule for just about everything. My one commandment, as it were. If everyone could just follow this one simple rule, we’d be golden. In a relationship, it’s doubly important. You’re fortunate enough to have some cash, don’t lord it over her. By the same rule, don’t put up with her being an idiot to you or to anyone else. We’re all adults here, stop acting like a spoiled child if some barrista forgets your chocolate sprinkles.

Have a good time

Everyone needs some down time, and having money makes that down time much more interesting. Go have an adventure, make some memories. If it doesn’t work out, at least you had a good time while it lasted. As an added bonus, if your idea of fun doesn’t jive with hers, now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.